It really doesn't seem to end in this house! I'm so sick and tired of all the bull shit I have to put up with I really am! I can't take it anymore! A full fuken week of getting bitched at, ignored and me just locked in my room. I'll fill you in
WARNING THIS MIGHT BORE YOU OR CAUSE EXTREME HATE.
Tak and Jubbi arrive to kidnap me for a fun work filled weekend. We get in the car and drive off. Pick up Afi and zip to Montclaire spend a good 3-4 hours editing film while Tak and I are starving. We leave and head to dinner (great fuken dinner, but pretty expensive) And then we head to Fritter's house, chat have fun etc. Jubbi leaves Tak and Afi spend the night. Afi passes out around 1am. Fritt, Tak and I stay up till about 4am.
I wake up before everyone and just chill with Fritter's mum. Jubbi gets there around 12pm it's raining cats and dogs outside so we kinda chill till the storm dies down. Fritter's mom has a project due the next day and asks for our help. We have to go out and search for some supplies, but since it's Sunday everything closes early. We came back empty handed. So we sat and thought what to do I come up with an idea and it takes a few hours to complete. Around 11pm we leave, drop Tak off and head back to my house a good 1hr or so away. I walk in around 12pm and get this.
(I copy/pasted my conversation with Tak and when I say "they" I really mean MOM)
For not coming home early enough
its not your fault
And for not calling mommy and daddy
they need to grow up
and letting them know EVERYTHING I was doing
they need to cut the embilical chord, Lee
I got so fuken emotional I had to go pee, I was 2 seconds from smashing my head into the mirror
After that I went back to use logic and as expected they don't care simply because "I'm the parent you're the kid"
well, newsflash, you're not a kid at all
you may be immature like the rest of us lot, but you're NOT a kid
Yeah I know
They pulled a few cards
i know you know, but THEY need to learn
as to "Well not going to Fritt's anymore"
I was about to walk out. Kill them, then walk out.
I'll see if they keep that card
If they play it, I'm walking.
11:58:25 AM LeeLee: Berko
i'll help you move your stuff
need be you can crash at my place
I now have FULL and complete responsibility on the dogs
Again another logic card on them ."Alright that's fine no problem, but when I'm working I'm so enthralled in my work I forget the time, so since you are sitting or watching TV or doing whatever it is you are, I would greatly appreciate it if you could just give me a little hollar to check on the dogs."
She said no.
I'm sick to my stomach
and having crying attacks
Apparently working 24/7 to try and pay off the tractor is not good enough.
i say you take the tractor and haul all your stuff out of there X3
Luckily we have a year with no interest.
I'm so sick of this. They pulled the "Bible" card
Also tried "You say you need to and want to go out, well last time I checked there are 7 days to a week and he's (dad) not working, why would you want to go out on the weekend when everyone is out and have the aggravation of people on the roads and in the stores?"
That shut her up and she had to play another card.
Dad, mom and I go to salon to get hair done. She still hasn't spoken or even looked at me since Sun. So I take it I don't give a shit. Jubbi and Tak swing by
Jubbi takes off dropping Tak off with me to chill. I get my hair cut in a few mins and I'm out. The whole time my Dad is at HomeDepot and mom is getting taken care of. So Tak and I go to the toystore NEXTDOOR. We chill for a bit and buy a dino for like $2 We come out and I see my dad, he's pissed and drags me away. Apparently mom was pissed that Tak and Jubbi didn't say "Hi" and she thinks I was running my mouth to them and she doesn't deserve it *rolls eyes* So I get a ear full and I have it out with my dad.
(Another copy/pasted conversation)
7:06:17 PM Ace: Do anything fun today?
7:06:29 PM LeeLee: no
7:08:19 PM Ace: Awww :(
7:09:50 PM LeeLee: I told my dad everything
7:09:58 PM LeeLee: how I been fucked up for 3 days
7:10:06 PM LeeLee: how it's affected my work
7:10:13 PM LeeLee: how I want out
7:10:18 PM LeeLee: how I can't take it
7:10:31 PM LeeLee: I'm 24 and adult and I DONT HAVE TO STAY here
7:10:59 PM LeeLee: but only reason I have so damn long is cause he's exactly like me, and I don't want him to deal with this shit alone
7:11:09 PM LeeLee: how I can bounce anywhere I want
7:11:16 PM Ace: *sighs* Sounds like it didn't go well...
7:11:19 PM LeeLee: how you have an apt ready for me
7:11:27 PM LeeLee: it went fabulous c:
7:11:31 PM LeeLee: he agrees
7:11:38 PM LeeLee: "I can't stop you"
7:11:46 PM LeeLee: "You're right you are an adult"
7:11:58 PM Ace: Well that's good
7:12:01 PM LeeLee: "I know it's a lot"
7:12:10 PM LeeLee: "I'm so sorry" "thank you"
7:12:46 PM Ace: Well you said your dad was never as bad as your mom.
7:12:51 PM LeeLee: NO no no no
7:12:58 PM LeeLee: My dad is EXACTLY like me
7:13:04 PM LeeLee: he's bitched at 24/7
7:13:06 PM LeeLee: just like me
7:13:14 PM Ace: Well you know what I mean.
7:13:18 PM LeeLee: and btw my siblings left at 17
7:13:41 PM LeeLee: I was like "WOAH SHIT MAN"
7:13:57 PM LeeLee: I been here 7 years TOO LONG
7:14:14 PM Ace: Damn right you have.
7:14:33 PM Ace: So does this mean you are seriously considering getting an apartment up here?
7:14:34 PM LeeLee: I told him if mom DARES, play the "You can't go to fritters because I said so" card
7:14:40 PM LeeLee: I'm O-W-T
7:14:42 PM LeeLee: OUT
7:14:46 PM LeeLee: yes
7:14:57 PM LeeLee: he already said he can't stop me
7:14:59 PM Ace: Then I will go look at some of these places.
7:15:00 PM LeeLee: and he wont
7:15:03 PM LeeLee: ty
7:15:17 PM LeeLee: I told him Canada is problematic
7:16:17 PM LeeLee: yeah I had problems with a commissioner before I left - __ -
7:16:35 PM LeeLee: lines were shaky
7:16:37 PM Ace: It's still going to take some time. You have to get in a better place in the way of your commission queue, and get some supplemental income, and probably look for a job when you get up here.
7:17:37 PM Ace: But I will help you.
7:18:13 PM LeeLee: I told him that. "I'm like you know, I know I don't have a normal job, but I'm working AROUND the clock on a list you wouldn't believe so I can pay that tractor off cause I made a promise. But this bull shit has had me a WRECK for 3 fuken days I got bitched at by a commissioner, and I have to re do it"
7:19:13 PM LeeLee: "Why do I need to redo it huh...if only she would stop I could take the time from re doing a piece that I could be spending working on another that I owe"
7:19:35 PM LeeLee: I'm working twice as hard, for WHAT
7:19:58 PM LeeLee: because she decides to say shit to me, make me piss myself and ruin my job
7:20:06 PM LeeLee: no, thank you sir I don't like it.
7:20:11 PM Ace: I've been trying to drill most of this into your head since I met you ya know...
7:20:16 PM LeeLee: I KNOW
7:20:30 PM LeeLee: but I'm like everyone, have to learn the hard way I suppose
7:20:40 PM Ace: I'd like to think I had SOME effect.
7:20:51 PM LeeLee: but yeah, it's out there, he knows where I stand
7:21:18 PM LeeLee: He tried to say "Well you'll be off worse if you aren't home!"
7:21:23 PM LeeLee: Ehhhh WRONG
7:21:43 PM Ace: Not if you have people who give a shit about you looking out for you.
7:21:59 PM LeeLee: I might be expected to pay rent even at a friends house, or possibly go hungry, but I wont have this emotional wrecking ball at my back"
7:22:05 PM LeeLee: exactly
7:22:12 PM Ace: You have seen first hand how many times I keep my promises.
7:22:14 PM Ace: 10 out of 10
7:22:24 PM LeeLee: I told him I got TONS of friends who would take me in a INSTANT
7:22:36 PM LeeLee: no questions asked I can bounce if I want to
7:22:42 PM LeeLee: I haven't because of you
7:22:54 PM Ace: You ever wonder why people come to me for help Leelee? A lot of people do you know.
7:22:59 PM LeeLee: but if she plays that one card, I'm outtie
7:23:05 PM Ace: Because I deliver every fucking time.
7:23:25 PM LeeLee: *sigh of relief*
7:23:34 PM LeeLee: So yeah
Now it's Friday. Mother's day is Sunday guess who's getting a lump of coal c:
She's still being a bitch. Fritter called me to ask me
Fritter: I'm getting my Tux, but I want tails and to look all elegant but it's Black and White, will it clash with your cream dress?
LeeLee: I dunno let me go ask mom, *proceeds to ask mom*
Mom: *doesn't look at her, and continues to watch TV* Idon'tknow >:[
I mean FUCK this is important! It's his ONCE IN A GODDAMN LIFE TIME PROM!
So yeah. I need out. Ace's got a place lined up for me about $400 a month. I'll most likely be rooming with another friend of mine Nataya and I can't FUKEN WAIT!
FUNDINGS FOR THE LEELEE
Oh man I just sneezed and blood shot out of my vagina....goddamit....
Alright so I signed up for this "chipin" thing, it's a site so you can make donations
thingers. I have a few HIGH priority expenses I need to take care of and it would make my life SO much easier if i could get donations rather than commissions. I'm kinda swamped and stressed at the moment. ANY little bit helps guys really.
Also afterwards I PROMISE to make everyone who's donated a little something.
So please please PLEASE put a way I can contact you later on. If you plan on donating put in the subject area "Donation from (yourname)" If it's from a FA member you can put your username.
As of right now things aren't so good and money is tight. So here is what I need.
My dog needs a spay and they all need their shots.
I realllllly need to open up a bank account. I have none as of now and the only way I can pay for things is through my Paypal online or my paypal card (and alot of places don't accept that)
I want to apply to Algonquin school in Ottawa Canada but I need to take a placement test $40 and the Application fee $120
Anthrocon is around the corner! I've already got my table all set up in the dealers area F08 under "Art by LeeLee" but I need to pay for my room and I'll need money for food.
My iBookG4 is finally crapping out on me, after a good 3 year run, her processor is slow and she can't handle all the fast and flashy videos all over the web. I'd like to get an iMac desktop computer harder, better, faster, stronger.
Jeeze man! They can't even go a FULL week without fighting!
Alright let's rewind and recap shall we?
Mon.23 I wake up to the usual, fighting and screaming, mind you it's not 2 ways just one. Just my mom. That's all you hear, a fluctuating high pitch bickering like a damn chicken. That's pretty damn annoying. So for the most part I just stayed up in my room and worked on commissions as usual, just kinda over hearing just to make sure it's not [i]my[/i] ass on the line. Nope, I'm in the clear, for once. This time it's dad. So the chicken noises get progressively louder until they become full out sobs. I figure "good she's calming down" Ehhh, wrong again.
Turns out those sobs became even louder to hysteric screaming and crying. Think a 60 year old kid throwing a tantrum. While all this is going on I have commissioners on the line. I tell them "BRB" and book it downstairs to the screaming flailing, large-ish, 63(?), 4'11, Latina woman. She's on the couch like a crazed wild animal, foaming at the mouth, making these inhuman noises a mad look in her eye and contorting and hitting my dad. I have never in my life seen anything like this happen, ever. She looked like an animal, not a person anymore just this crazed creature. Scared the hell out of me. This all happens in a split moment by the way. it seems longer when someone explains it all out.
I step over and grab her about the shoulders shaking her, she stares right at me but through me, I figured she was looking at me but couldn't see me. Between the screaming, the flailing, the foaming, the kicking and my pinning her down I don't even notice my dad on the other side of me. He's making this "Ooooooo" noise at first I thought it was one of the dogs crying. Nope, turns out it's my pop, he's the crying one making the most pa-the-tic noise I have ever heard, granted I have NEVER seen this 65 year old man break down or so much as have his eyes water. He looked like a little kid who had lost his mother in the store. He just stood there and made that noise trying to get close to me and her. but she kept batting him away. Ok this is good, she's not batting at me, she registering she's pissed at him, good we don't have a complete lunatic I think. So I calm her down get her some water and she clings to me. Then the [i]fun[/i] starts.
The arguments and normal crying again. To make a 2 and a half hour discussion short here's what happened. Essentially she's pissed because my dad took the day before to paint the floor (seal it, we have concrete floor) in the basement, place our moving boxes upon half cut pallets to keep a decent air flow.
My mom is horribly OCD and thew a fit because the boxes were messed up and piled on TEMPORARILY so he could paint the floor. Shit. Hit. The. Fan. This entire tantrum was because of boxes. I was so not amused. I told them knock it off. Grow up. The boxes were stacked so the floor could be done and then once it dried they could be put back.
*sighs heavily* Everything went so well after wards. Everyone was doing what they had to do with a chipper feeling, laughing and like a "leave it to Beaver" episode. Alas things are back to normal again. I really need to get out of here.
But I can't seem to let go without a feeling of guilt or remorse like I somehow let one of them down. I dunno....*shrugs and sighs*
Yeah I did say that in the creepy pedo oldman's voice from FamilyGuy. :}
Ok I'm gonna be 23 in 3 days HOLYSHIT! fuck I'm old - __ - as to what I'm expecting. Nothing. I'm old enough to understand a birthday is just a regular day. My family can't afford presents right now. I believe my day will possibly consist of. Yardwork and if not that then me up in my room drawing waiting for FA to come back.
(Damn you come back already!) Mn so yeah...
I had a blast at AC :3 I made monies but I spent about everything I made on everyone for food for the week (I mother and take care of everyone lol, I need to stop)
I have bills valued at about $300 and this BS company is stealing money from my paypal (so I have to file and do all this legal shit blahblahblah) hate this shit. > . <
if anyone wants to donate or comish me or something?